1、我愿意一生守在你的身边,冬天做你的棉被,夏天做你的电风扇。愚人节快乐!
keepinyourside,iamwillingtolifemakeyourquiltinwinter,summerdoyourelectricfans。happyaprilfool'sday!
2、都说猪很懒,但我不这么认为。至少现在,我发现有一头猪正在看短信。
allsaypigisverylazy,butidon'tthinkso。atleastnow,ifoundapigisreadingtextmessages。
3、我活到如今还没撒过谎,但今天上天让我遇见你,我终于可以开张撒谎了:你帅呆酷毙了。
ilivetonowhasn'tlied,butgodletmemeetyoutoday,ifinallyopenedcanlie:youstaycoolhandsome。
4、假如我不向你求婚,我会后悔一辈子,由于你是我的惟一。愚人节快乐!
ifidon'tproposetoyou,iwillregretalifetime,becauseyouaretheoneforme。happyaprilfool'sday!
5、无论你在哪里,只要仰天长笑,大叫三声“我是美女”,我就会出现在你面前。
nomatterwhereyouare,aslongasthefaceupwardslonglaugh,shoutthree"iisbeauty",iwillappearinfrontofyou。
6、做家具的是木材,懂诗词的是秀才,众人想的是钱财,看消息的是蠢才。
dofurnitureislumber,understandpoetryisscholar,theythinkofismoney,themessageisafool。
7、地震不稀奇,洪水也不稀奇,火上喷发更不稀奇,最稀奇的是:小猪竟然会看信息!
earthquakenotcurious,notthefloodfireeruptedmorenotrare,themostsurprisingisthatthepigshouldseeinformation!
8、放心,接收这条短信不会对你造成太大损失,仅仅会使你手机内存储的信息全部删除。
restassured,receivingthismessageyouwillnotcausetoomuchloss,justcanmakeyourphonedeleteallstoredinformation。
9、祝你:打牌运气拉不住,豹子金花把把出,别人瞪眼你笑脸,别人掏钱你收钱。
wishyou:playingcardsisnotluck,theleopardgoldenflowerhangout,othersstareyousmile,peoplepayyoumoney。
10、爸爸今天打了我两次,第一次是因为看见了我手里两分的成绩单,第二次是因为成绩单是他小时候的。
dadhitmetwicetoday,becauseforthefirsttimesawmyhandtworeportcard,thesecondishischildhoodbecausetranscripts。
11、你有天使的面孔,魔鬼的身材,就连你放屁的姿势都那么优美。可在大庭广众之下,控制一下节奏好吗?
doyouhaveaangelface,devilfigure,evenyoufartpostureissobeautiful。caninpublicunder,controlthetempo?
12、彩票中了五百万,业务提升为骨干;房子贷款已还完,睡醒一觉变貂禅。你美了吧!
lotteryinfivemillion,promotedasthebackboneofbusiness;thehouseloanhasalsofinished,wakeupsleepdiaucharn。youarebeautiful!
13、经证实,你就是n年前逃亡的犯罪嫌疑人xxx,您已被警方控制,请速到**局自首。
it'sprovedthatthefugitivesuspectsxxx,youarenyearsagoyouhavebeencontrolledbythepolice,pleasesurrendertothepolice。
14、你真是个天才――天生的蠢才,毕业于哈佛――哈尔滨佛学院,长得也不错――长得这样真的不是你的错!
you'reagenius-bornfool,graduatedfromharvard,harbininstituteofbuddhiststudies,looksprettygoodalso,thisreallyisn'tyouofwrong!
15、你已在wǒ men监视范围,不要左看右看!你现在只有把手机放在地上,然后先前走,不能回头!
youhavebeeninourmonitoringscope,don'tleftseerighttosee!younowonlyputmobilephoneontheground,thenwalkearlier,can'tturnback!
16、警告:你的浴室在三个月前被安装了针孔摄像机,vcd将于三天后以特快专递寄给你,请注意查收!
warning:yourbathroominthethreemonthsagowasinstalledpinholecameras,vcdwillbesenttoyoubydhlinthreedayslater,pleasefind!
17、如果你不是摩托罗拉那种防水的手机的话,看短信时请注意,别笑得口水流到机子上,那会坏的。
ifyouarenotamotorolathatwaterproofphone,pleasepayattentiontowhenwatchingsms,don'tlaughmouthwatertothemachines,itwouldbebad。
18、有个乌龟没事干,潜入水底下个蛋,下完蛋后去找蛋,没有发现这个蛋,要问此蛋在哪里?正把手机短信看!
atortoisehazelnut,pingunderanegg,tofindeggundergone,havenotfoundtheegg,toaskwheretheeggs?isthemobilephoneshortmessage!
19、我是冤魂,我死在你们寝室楼的地下室,去年我被肢解了,每天晚上我都向上爬,你能过来拉我一把么,我在你床边。
iam,mydeathinyourdormitorybuildingbasement,lastyeariwasdismembered,everynightiup,canyoucomeovertopullmeahand,iinyourbed。
20、你怒气冲冲的冲进某单位,嚷道:这里是动物保护协会吗?工作职员:是啊,请问是谁欺负你了?
youangryrushedintooneunit,rangway:hereistheanimalprotectionassociation?workingstaff:yes,couldyoutellmewhobullyyou?
21、你绝情一闪而过令我顿时迷失自我,我真想把你留住,但沉浸在今生难忘的一刹间,我不能让你走,我大叫:抓贼啊!
yougirlfriend。mayaflashisuddenlylostmyself,ireallywanttokeepyou,butimmersedinamemorablemoment,thislifeican'tletyougo,icry,stopthief!
22、你比镜子还能反映我的缺点,你比庄子还博学多才,你比孙子还有谋略。所以wǒ men都亲切的叫你:“镜庄孙子”。
youthanmirrorcanreflectmyfaults,youthanzhuangzirenaissance,youthangrandchildrenanddiscretion。soweallkindofcallyou:"mirrorzhuanggrandson"。
23、手机保养新方法:每次开机后5秒钟内,将手机放入一盆清水中浸泡10分钟,手机的寿命将提高一倍。
newmobilephonemaintenancemethods:everybootafter5seconds,thephoneintoabasinofclearwatersoakfor10minutes,theservicelifeofmobilephonewilldouble。
24、鸡是用做下蛋的,牛是有活就干的,猫是挨家混饭的,羊是将来烤串的,狗是让人来惯的,你是等着出圈的。
isusedtolayeggs,chickencowislivingondry,thecatwentveryseriously,sheeparebarbecueinthefuture,adogisaletapersontobeused,youarewaitingforones。
25、快打开电视,看41频道,在放超好玩超搞笑的电视节目,我肚子都笑痛了!打开了吗?茫然了吗?哈哈,愚人节快乐!
quickturnonthetelevision,watchingchannel41,inasuperfunsuperfunnytvprogram,mybellylaughpain!theopen?thevacant?haha,happyaprilfool'sday!
26、以前我只知道,小猪不会说话,就知道哼哼,可是后来遇到了你,才知道原来你比小猪还会哼,正说你呢,你还哼!
before,ionlyknowthatthepigcan'ttalk,justknowhum,butlatermetyou,justknoworiginallyyouthanpigwillhum,say,howaboutyou,doyoustillhum!
27、因网络扩建,您的手机如出现信息不良,请将手机使劲往地上砸,如有困难,wǒ men24小时免费上门服务!
appearbecauseofthenetworkexpansion,suchasyourmobileinformation,pleasephonethefloortohithard,ifyouhavedifficulty,we24hoursdoor-to-doorserviceforfree!
28、你帅你帅,头顶一窝白菜,身披一条麻袋,腰缠一根海带,自认为是东方不败,其实是衰神二代!
youhandsomeyouhandsome,thetopoftheheadanestofcabbage,wearingasack,waistastickofkelp,thoughtiseastdon'thurt,isactuallyafailuregodthesecondgeneration!
29、最近表现不太好,跟我联系有些少,赶快给我道个歉,电话短信随你便,最好请我吃顿饭,wǒ men还是好伙伴!
recentperformanceisnotverygood,contactmesomelittle,getgivemeanapology,phonemessagewithyou,hadbetteraskmetoeatmeal,wearestillgoodpartner!
30、你将要去他方远行,真诚的朋友为你送行,凛冽的寒风挡不住wǒ men的友情,我握住你的手说“好好改造,争取减刑”
!youwillgotoothertravel,sincerefriendstoseeyouoff,toresistthecoldwindofourfriendship,iholdyourhandandsaid"goodreformation,fightfortheirsentence!
31、权威人士透露,为更好地丰富人民的假日生活,进一步拉动假日经济,今年的五一节假期将会由去年的七天增加到十天!
insider,tobetterenrichpeople'sholidaylife,furtherboosttheholidayeconomy,forthemaydayholidaythisyearwillincreasebythelastsevendaystotendays!
32、紧急提醒:近日恐有雷电现象,出门时请把手机放在头上并将充电器连线插上拖于身后,用于避雷,切记!
emergencyremind:recentlycouldhavelightningphenomenon,gooutpleaseputthephoneontheheadandtomatchthechargerplugindraginbehind,usedforlightningprotection,remember!
33、这是一条你必备的警告:由于黑客侵入你的手机系统,电池即被引爆!请立即将手机电池取下扔出五米距离。切记!
thisisanecessarywarningyou:becausehackersyourphonesystem,thebatteryisdetonated。please'lltakeoutthebatteryimmediatelythrewfivemetersdistance。rememberthat!
34、一岁吃喝嫖赌抽,两岁坑蒙拐骗偷。此人年少有出息,长大以后智商低。明知这人就是你,还要坚持看到底!
oneyearoldfoodanddrinkpiaowager,'reincapabletostealattheageoftwo。themanyearsrarepromise,lowiqwhenigrewup。knowingthatthispersonisyou,stillhavetoseeonthebottom!
35、你酷,你酷,你喝水在水库,睡觉在古墓,嘴里流瀑布,四肢像枕木,你当你是貂禅吕布,其实你是南极土著。
youcool,youcool,youdrinkwaterinthereservoir,tosleepinthetomb,themouthflowwaterfall,limbslikeasleeper,youwhenyou'rediaucharnlyu3bu4,actuallyyouareindigenoussouthpole。
36、你的国语标准请跟我一起念:万万望望、望旺万旺、万腕忘忘、万旺万旺……好了,狗狗别叫了,吃骨头罗。愚人节快乐!
yourmandarinstandardpleasesaywithme:neverlooked,lookedprosperouswanwangwrist,forgettheforgotten,wanwangwanwang……well,thedogdogdon'tcall,eatingbones。happyaprilfool'sday!
37、你的写作水平很高,你的文采也很好,你的语句也很优秀,如果再努力奋斗两三年,我看水平也跟我差不多了,哈哈,愚人节快乐。
yourwritingisveryhigh,yourgiftisalsoverygood,yourstatementisverygoodalso,ifyouhardworkfortwoorthreeyears,iseelevelalsotoldmeabout,haha,happyaprilfool'sday。
38、你了解宋词吗?请大声地念五遍这首宋词:暗痕春,步惊春娥怯还奔,暗眉闹姿,似纱挂,暗使歌娥摆舞。
doyouknowthesong?pleasereadaloudfivetimesthisfirstsonglyrics:darkmarkinthespringofstepjingspringafraidalsorantotheposture,darkeyebrowlikeyarnhang,darkmakesongmothsswingdance。
39、你站在人群中,被轻柔的风吹起的长发,像人间最美的旋律,在我心头久久回荡,使我想说:你的假发要掉了……今天可是愚人节哦!
youstandinthecrowd,thegentlewindblowinghair,astheworld'smostbeautifulmelody,echoedinmymindforalongtime,iwanttosay:youdroppedyourwigto……todayisaprilfool'sday!
40、我是一块巨石,在此伫立多时。饱受千年风雨,望眼欲穿想你。只为和你相识,腾空将你压实,小样儿,压不死你老子不白活啦!
iamabigrock,inthestand。byonethousandyearswindandrain,dreammissyou。justforandyougettoknoweachother,smallkindson,compactiontovacateyourpressuredieyoulaotzenotinvain!
41、如果**规定一个人一生只能找一个女子,我情愿那个人就是你,我无怨无悔,至死不渝!但偏偏**没规定……那就算了!
ifgovernmentregulationscanonlybeapersonlifelookingforawoman,iwouldratherthatpersonisyou,icomplaintorregret,todie!butithappenedthatthegovernmentdidn'trule……thatevenif!
42、你对我真的很好,把我当亲兄弟一样对待,对我的照顾真是无微不至。我要好好报答你,这不我正吃红烧肘子呢,你快过来。帮我洗碗吧!
it'sreallygoodtome,youtreatmeasbrothers,formeisveryprotectiveofhim。iwanttorepayyouwell,it'snoti'meattobraiseinsoysauceelbow,youquicklycomehere。helpmewashthedishes!